The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly…all of it. Please don’t white wash A.A. If Alcoholics Anonymous was perfect I would not fit in.
THANK GOD FOR THE PROGRAM OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS!
I truly believe that if it were not for AA I would not be sober or sane today. This is my anniversary month and I want to express how grateful I truly am for the program. Please, Gainesville AA; gratitude is a state of mind and a feeling not an action. I will not go “gratituding” (if gratitude were an action word the ing would be correct.) I will express my gratitude by doing some 12th step service work. Ok yes this is one of my pet peeves about Gainesville AA. The PIRATE DICTIONARY by which they feel they can redefine parts of the English language. Leave it to a bunch of addicts to assert the audacity to refute the scholars and masters of the English language.
However I am making a point here. In spite of all the little errors and cultish beliefs of AA members the program works. In spite of the fact that my own sponsor has stalked her boyfriend to the gates of insanity. In spite of the fact that most AAers are working hard on smoking themselves to death with cigarettes, still I salute you. And in spite of the fact that the majority of members reek of codependency the program still works!
The 12 steps are still ordained of God and set down as a solution for the sick and suffering. In spite of the fact that Bill W. spent countless years suffering from depression and engaging in infidelity. THE PROGRAM WORKS AND IT HAS SAVED Mine AND COUNTLESS LIVES.
The question that I personally had to ask myself as I stumbled into the rooms was “What do I need and can I get it here”. That answer was yes these people obviously knew and know how to stay sober and I desperately needed that.
So, I hung in there with that character defect ridden sponsor as she took the time to spoon feed me the solutions I so desperately needed. And I watched as she kept herself sober by the 12 Steps of AA. And she picked up her own 10 year medallion years ago. I hung in with years of meetings and worked the 12 steps over and over year in and year out until I knew and worked recovery as a way of life. I taught others, I made suggestions and I shared in countless meetings, jails and rehabs.
I had a knack for speaking and I could present the steps like a pro. In AA you can learn and practice public speaking in front of hundreds of listeners free of charge. I loved it! I didn’t come to AA looking for perfection I came looking for a solution to my self destructive life patterns.
So, now as I approach my tenth year sober without a hit of crack cocaine, or a shot of heroin I still balk at the cultish dogma. And I sometimes sneer at the non-empathic beat-downs going on between members. I look on as my brothers and sisters that I love stay sober and do a little bitching themselves about certain aspects of the program.
One of the most brilliant counselors and longtime members in the program that has helped thousands upon thousands by his knowledge and ability to characteristically share wrote a book called “The Lies Told in AA”. Does that mean that he will walk away from the program because it is now full of imperfect people? HELL NO!
We must get outside help where we can, where we fit in. People do get sober in church, I did that myself one time for several years BUT the thing is, I never really fit in there like I do in AA. Church people are very much like program people. As a matter of fact church people appear to have that same empty black hole in their soul that they must fill with God to be OK.
We AAers have that in common with the church folks. Best if you are trying to stay sober to go to church, AA, AND THERAPY. Go in spite of the imperfections that are part of the human condition.
Go and get your psychic change my friend because you have earned your seat and its empty and waiting for you. So thank you AA , therapy, church and my own Higher Power for saving my life so I can engage in my own character defects, growing old, and the joys of life that sobriety has most definitely brought me.
THANK YOU ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS AND GOD