Step Ten gone bad

Even the self-examination that is so necessary for emotional sobriety can turn into an obsessive compulsion from a negative self image. So we must remember we are human and our Higher Power will make all things work together for the best no mater how circumstances look at the time. So at night when I do my inventory of self I ask; what have I done today that is good. I went to a meeting, I started the day with a meditation. I have been taking care of myself by eating right. I have been treating other people with respect. Yes I stayed sober and I worked. I am a good mother and a good wife. I sponsor people and work the steps with them. I take meetings into rehab centers and I chair meetings. For all these things I pat myself on the back. Yes perhaps I made some mistake today, I ask God to remove my defects of character and to help me meditate so it’s productive. And then in the morning I read Step Eleven from the Big Book, On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.