Self Loathing is by design Wake up to the world we live in

What this article really is, is my great awakening catalogued for you to see in plain sight.  This is 4 years of research and revelation I give you.  It’s very scary and very true.  Pray for faith so you can bear it.

NEWS FLASH!  Satan IS the ruler of this world and YOU were/are an addict by design.  The more abuse you endured in the formative and teen years the more likely your calling from God IS.  Were you targeted?  Did the voices in your head tell you “your a piece of shit”?   The dark side fears you because God will give you POWER & MIGHT if you seek Him.

You are not ultimately responsible for who you were as an addict, or who you have become.  But you ARE responsible for learning, & changing.  Please, knowing the “WHY” behind addiction does not change the solutions whatsoever.  Neither will knowing “why” keep you sober.

Continue reading “The Problem”

Moon?

Addiction and MIND CONTROL are programmed into us in many different ways and in youth

See the details here: https://www.recoveryfarmhouse.com/programmed-from-birth-to-be-addicted/

Why New Age concepts protect the criminal ruling elite so well. Can you say “agenda 21”? Can you say “brain washing” and can you say….”KOOL”? The concept of “kool” is one of the most significant mind control tools in the United States today. Once through TV and MEDIA the ruling elite have established an ideal as “un-kool”, THEY HAVE US. Example: ‘Negativity’.

Continue reading “Space May be the Final Frontier but it’s made in a HOLLYWOOD BASEMENT”

More will be revealed. I am watching to see as my most informative Youtube channels of truth seekers are systematically deleted. Lets hope I Info-wars is wrong about this and that Google does have our best interest at heart.

“More will be revealed, and more to come”

Mike Adams’, The Health Ranger YouTube channel has been terminated.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAZa…

Need a healing? Seek out this preacher. He does have the gift of healing, deliverance, and revelation.

DO YOU KNOW WHO YOUR HIGHER POWER REALLY IS?

Third Step Prayer short version

God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.  Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.  Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and The way of life.  May I do Thy will always!

A DOOR KNOB IS NOT A POWER GREATER THAN YOURSELF THEREFORE IT IS NOT A “HIGHER POWER”

We want to choose a god deserving of our faith not an inanimate object that has less power than the man who installed it into the door.  Why not seek God with our heart in prayer?  Seek and we will find.  Could it be our resentment, pain, and hurt is much too deep to even consider seeking a god whom we feel is the reason we have suffered?   Or is our desire to control all things too strong in us to risk relinquishing control?   Our pain and consequences of active addiction must be more intense than our fear of the unknown and giving up control.  
Continue reading “Who is your Higher Power?”

Read this story to possibly find your answer…….

There was a blessed spirit in Heaven it could fly; it was completely sustained by the light of God that was readily available in the beyond where it existed. We will call the blessed spirit Elior. Elior could travel from realm to realm, planet to planet; dimension to dimension he could take any shape he wanted. The realm that housed the seven Earths (God did create seven) were only one of the realms that Elior had toured. There was a realm called “Ecstasy”, the realm of “Wisdom”, the powerful realm of “Love”,

Continue reading “Are you a New Soul or an Old Soul?”

We don’t just quit feeling fear or pain in recovery but rather we find ways to let it out that work.  Pretending I don’t feel hurt or fear because of AA status quo that says “If you are afraid your not working a good program” is bullshit.  WE DON’T STOP FEELING.  What we do is learn what to do with the feelings that bother us when they crop up.  The same man will drink again and dry drunks have no idea how to get real about their hearts voice.  Use the feelings poster attached to identify feelings in early recovery.  Every feeling happens because of a valid reason.

I do get emotionally triggered. I am not a brick wall. Tuff girl act is not synonymous with recovery. I am not on the streets smoking crack and trying to survive. I don’t have to put on an act of bad-ass anymore. I didn’t come to AA to continue wearing a mask of deception. I am a human woman. I have feelings that make me feel vulnerable. I know what to do with negative feelings when they happen because I was taught to share, write, use expression by exercise, beat the bag, beat the bed.  This stuff works to get anger and hurt out.  Also honest non attacking conversation about “what happened and how it made me feel” is therapeutic to my soul. If I just blame others for my whip-lash feelings my heart won’t heal. Recovery starts with prayer first and on going.

Fear crops up, shame, guilt resurfaces at times, and anger is a human emotion and part of me as is pain, hurt, insecurity, inferiority, fear of what people think and the rest.

Fight or flight tends to run rampant in addicts. Defense Mode isn’t intended for entertainment. Defense and attack should not be used to gain fake self worth. Defense isn’t something I should take lightly to use at the drop of a hat. Sarcasm is defense mode and dishonest.

Recovery 101 “CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES” I ask myself…Am I in ‘CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER’? Or has my ego been triggered by the hoards of baggage I may be carrying around.

Every fourth step should include MY FEAR, SHAME, and GUILT. Step five should include the stuff that makes me squirm to keep it secret. Every Step Nine should say “I was wrong and am sorry”. When I clear the wreckage and make amends (including pay-back amends when applicable) it clears my head to see more clearly and not be so apt to hit defense or fight or flight mode for things that are NOT ‘CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER’.

Feelings are real. If most of us had not been taught to shut down healthy emotions early on our natural emotional processes would not have backed up in us. We would not have gotten sick. Getting to core reasons for emotional triggers and learning I am emotionally constipated is part of getting well. If I am too busy defending I will never get to the part of recovery where I accept myself and am doing a legitimate step 6-7. COPYING THE OTHER GUYS WORK/paper ON THIS DOESN’T WORK. It’s our own heart we need to expose to the light of God and of Man.

If your sponsor isn’t empathic and can’t relate to your fifth step he is the wrong sponsor. Fake step work makes for fake recovery. We no longer have to hide who we are if we get the right AA fellows around us who are real also.

Why Whitewash anything for that matter?

Definition of Whitewash:  To ignore any imperfection, shortcoming, or flaw.  To view a person, place, or thing, as flawless.

Addicts are not bad people trying to get good.  They are sick people trying to get well first and foremost.

In my interactions with various Facebook recovery groups I have noticed a pattern that emerges often in threads.  With diligence members cannot accept one tither of negative information in, about, or around their program of A.A.  And God forbid I make a remark about one of our founding fathers being wrong, making a mistake, or acting out in character defects.  Oh hell no!  The members scream from their hot keyboards as they spit and fume while rambling out their reaction to a perceived insult.

Continue reading “Why Do Some Members Defensively Whitewash Alcoholics Anonymous?”

I grew up in the 70s in Tampa. There was Cocaine everywhere. Long story short I became deeply addicted to injecting ether based Cocaine. After a few years and a few overdoses I ended up with the worst paranoia and fear I can imagine. I had one overdose where I died and was brought back with CPR. I literally went to death and hell and a place of bondage that I could not get out of. Thank God I was given CPR it was like clawing my way out of Hell. I did not come back easy. After that I was plagued with anxiety attacks and paralyzed with panic from my experiences with Cocaine and the things I did while using it. I ran, I got as far away from my enablers as I could. I then desperately sought God in any place people worship. I found what I was looking for by His Grace.

Continue reading “Cocaine Trauma Deliverance”