Relapse Sucks

Relapse Feels Horrible
Here is a great solution for the remorse. It’s one little assignment that is tried and true…if we can just pick up a pencil and paper to do it!!!
Relapse brings up a lot of guilt and shame which sucks, however it is the perfect time to get some serious baggage off of our heart. Building self-esteem happens when we take one right action at a time. First thing, write core feelings. Write the self-loathing and the feelings of utter worthlessness you feel. Example: I feel like a failure, I hate myself for the things I have done to me and others (children especially). Write the fears associated with thoughts like: I let down my fellows, what will they think of me now? I want people to like me but now they will know I am a failure. Write all the society fears associated with relapse. Write the shame of re-entering the rooms after a relapse and what that does to your reputation and how it makes you feel. GET TO THE CORE FEELINGS THAT MOST EVERY RELAPSER FEELS UNLESS THEY ARE A SOCIOPATH or can’t get honest.

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The Disease Concept is a Rationalization

If you don’t know the true reason for addiction just make up a reason and run with it.  After all, alcoholics are skilled at the art of denial and bullshit.  We fool ourselves first then we fool the world.

Let’s face it recovering alcoholics are commonly desperate for a valid cause to pin their miseries on. Sometimes in the form of co dependency and blame.  Other times in the form of playing up a tragedy that really doesn’t affect us.  We jump at the chance for a valid process of grief…seldom does anyone ever accept and validate our true grief if and when we have the balls and self honesty to find out what that is. Most recovering addicts have pushed their emotions so far away from their heart that they grasp the “disease concept” in order to validate their reason for drinking and drugging. When truth is IT’S ALL EMOTIONAL.  Very few addicts ever adapt more than the “textbook answer (Big Book)” for WHY DID YOU DRINK CORROSIVELY BROTHER?  It’s not our fault we can seldom answer this question with a true to life cause.

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You Must have Mistook me for Someone Who Gives a Shit

Truly some people who really do give a shit have no idea or ability to show it in a Loving way.

At least that’s what I am hoping considering the actions of many people in the world today.

We have all heard the sarcastic comment that rolls off the tongues of those who want to make known to us all that they don’t care about us or anyone.  They pretend they cannot be hurt because they are emotionally bullet-proof.   I don’t know about you but I have made peace with the fact, that I am human and like to know I am cared for, liked, and loved.     Thing is, with this awareness of the vulnerable human condition of my own heart comes more unpleasant truths.

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