If you don’t know the true reason for addiction just make up a reason and run with it. After all, alcoholics are skilled at the art of denial and bullshit. We fool ourselves first then we fool the world.
Let’s face it recovering alcoholics are commonly desperate for a valid cause to pin their miseries on. Sometimes in the form of co dependency and blame. Other times in the form of playing up a tragedy that really doesn’t affect us. We jump at the chance for a valid process of grief…seldom does anyone ever accept and validate our true grief if and when we have the balls and self honesty to find out what that is. Most recovering addicts have pushed their emotions so far away from their heart that they grasp the “disease concept” in order to validate their reason for drinking and drugging. When truth is IT’S ALL EMOTIONAL. Very few addicts ever adapt more than the “textbook answer (Big Book)” for WHY DID YOU DRINK CORROSIVELY BROTHER? It’s not our fault we can seldom answer this question with a true to life cause.
If you were an addict (yes I said “were”) and have realized that the wonderful childhood you experienced was actually just a pretty picture you painted in your head. If the pack mentality has finally dissipated and you realize your caretakers in the formative years were quite possibly self-esteem sucking vampire-like idiots then…CONGRATULATIONS! About 10% of people in recovery ever realize the true reason for their shame (fear of people), self loathing (self destructive), and drinking (drugging).
#1 the word “shame” is pridefully unpalatable and carries with it a grotesque status-quo. Shame’s status quo relies on a thriving state of false pride to keep its existence alive and healthy. That is, shame in it’s oppressive form. Symptoms of shame-Isolation, lies, hiding, making up stories, a desire to numb oneself from it’s feeling, inferiority, fear, fear of failure, fear of success, changing one’s appearance drastically, blushing, rapid heartbeat, break into a sweat, freeze, hang your head, slump your shoulders, avoid eye contact, withdraw, even get dizzy or nauseous.
The true reasons for addiction often just get buried. Bill Wilson himself quite publicly both rationalized and intellectualized his own reasons for drinking. His false-pride and pack-mentality concepts were obviously (by his writings) NEVER thawed from the great ice crevice in his heart where they lay for so long.
Denial is the addicts brightest and shiniest emotional survival skill both before and after recovery. Spearheaded at the tip of our emotional talents; denial saves us from intense realities. The addicts denial; be it stronger than the iceberg that crushed the Titanic, lengthier than the plastic scouring our oceans and more blatant to the psychologically learned than the very nose on our face.
YET how do you tell a blind man that the table is red and not dark? How do you tell an addict that he drank and drugged because of his pain? And that his pain erupted in the formative years. And that he himself is not God, nor is he to blame for attempting to numb such a horrific shame induced pain. One thing sure, THE ADDICT THINKS HE IS SHIT, therefore WE MUST FIND THE CORE OF THAT INCLINATION. …. NO, NO, HELL NO! SCREAMS THE RECOVERING ADDICT! But what is he recovering from? Not the real cause of his addiction…oh hell no we won’t go close to that turd of darkness.
No in AA the addict recovers from old habits, and if he works really hard he will become aware of his character defects. If he works the steps HE WILL BUILD SELF ESTEEM BY STEP 12. He may recover from hurting others by step four, he may quit cussing, quit smoking, and quit drinking and develop a relationship with God….but until he finds the true & root cause of his pain HOW IN THE NAME OF BILL WILSON HIMSELF WILL HE RECOVER FROM THE TRUE CAUSE OF HIS DRINKING?
MOST EVERYONE “LET’S UP ON THEIR SPIRITUAL PROGRAM” AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER…OF THIS I AM CERTAIN. If the emotional is not addressed, when the spiritual lapses the mouse re-lives his pain. The pain must be addressed to heal. We gotta feel to heel…really feel.
Isn’t it time we asked ourselves…Why the fuck did I really nearly drink and drug myself to death?….absent the pack mentality. (When I say “pack mentality” I mean protecting the people that I grew up with “the pack”). And ask why absent the status quo of AA that WE DON’T ASK WHY ABOUT SHIT. Talk about cult BS the phrase “never ask why” is the cornerstone of oppression. It’s taking obsession to the other extreme. How? Because that’ s where that “don’t ask why” comes from. Addicts tend to obsess on things like “why”. But please we are supposed to be learning how to cope and function in society not how to become robot slaves. Come on don’t ask why? Fuck knowledge the forefront of wisdom right?
Start with this statement, “children who are raised in a truly decent emotionally nurturing atmosphere don’t generally have a reason to hate themselves, initially”. People raised with Love don’t regularly try to numb an intense hurt in their heart which is so extremely painful they prefer inebriation over any simulation of awareness. And more importantly once the true reasons surface when sober in their appropriate and natural order….we need to develop ways to get the feelings out out that are healthy.
Most addicts wouldn’t know an emotional beat down if it literally hit them in the face. And it’s not their fault…it’s not their fault. But if your tired of being an arms length away from a drink and want true recovery it’s gonna take addressing the true reasons absent the rationalization of “it’s disease.”
Let’s put it this way…WE ADDICTS ARE SO FUCKING GOOD AT SNOWING OUR PEERS AND PEOPLE….WE LITERALLY HAVE CONVINCED OURSELVES AND THE WHOLE WORLD THAT ALCOHOLISM IS SOME OBSCURE DISEASE DRIVEN BY A ROGUE GENE POOL. LOL The medical field kinda believes it and it has become the status quo of addiction topics, rehabs in spite of there not being an ounce of real proof to back it up.
Addicts are emotionally sick because of trauma of one sort or another USUALLY not present in their memory unless it was on-going. And then they minimize. And minimize, and again minimize.
Solutions to pain. https://www.recoveryfarmhouse.com/emotional-healing/