How addiction effects our children

Read the poem “Does Baby Know”

I wrote this poem eight years ago when feeling the deep deep pain of hurting the one that I Love the most in this world as most parents do.  Especially for us mothers; neglecting our children hits us harder in the guilt department than any of our wreckage .  Here is one of my processing poems that helped me get the pain out.

 

Does Baby Know?   Baby’s so sweet in her Mickey Mouse clothes Innocent cuddly wonder if she knows Most mommies don’t need pills before starting the day of cooking and work to keep jonesin’ at bay   Baby’s so bright in her eyes does she know Most mommies don’t shoot dope to get up and go   Sometimes the little girl gets so annoyed “Mommy wake up and look at these toys! Don’t run off the road any more cause I’m scared We could crash and burn, your eyes closed your not there”   Still baby loves mommy the most cause her daddy Yells all the time she goes with mommy gladly Daddy is mean frustrated at mom she won’t do as he says he does not keep calm Baby’s becoming a young lady now   Ten years have passed by mommies wondering how, they survived the years before she straightened up quit shooting her dope and getting fucked up   Baby’s so beautiful in her brand new school clothes and daddy still yells but baby knows they both really care and are doing their best to show that they love her   God’s doing the rest____________________

2-14-2018 UPDATED comment about poem.  **My ex-husband has long since been removed from our lives.  He was very abusive and the trauma he caused my daughter was devastating.  All due to my own ability to leave him back then.  She was nine when I got sober and 10 when I stood up to her father and cut him from our lives.  She is an adult now.  Doing a step nine with here was a freeing experience for both of us and probably saved my own life.  Please do the steps on your most intense issues.  If you don’t have an understanding sponsor, fire them.

This part was written back when I wrote the poem-****Nearly nine years after I wrote this sad poem my daughter is happy and healthy.  She will graduate this year God willing,  she is driving her first car and is a beautiful young lady.  She has a fighting chance at a good life and shows no signs of addiction praise God!  I am there for her which I never would have been able to do had it not been for AA and the 12 steps.  Thank you AA and thank you especially to my Higher Power who I am sure made it all happen like a magic red carpet ride of sobriety.  Change and healing can happen for anyone who has the willingness to do the work honestly and thoroughly until it becomes a way of life.