Some are sicker than others…for real
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Basically, & I mean this in all sincerity not as a bladed-cliche….in AA some are sicker than others of whom I was chief.
Disclaimer: Oftentimes people in recovery, usually certain men who were once very deep into their addiction have little need to return to a fourth step after doing it once.
They don’t need to talk about their feelings, they rarely get caught up in fear, they are emotionally balanced. They don’t hurt themselves or others, nor do they need an empathic listener. They are spiritually & emotionally fit by working the 12 steps once and by doing the maintenance called Ten, Eleven, & Twelve.
These fortunate types have either had an intense spiritual healing experience or they have gone to therapy for a year or so and worked through their core issues in conjunction with the steps, or both.
Women! Do not let these types who know so well how to keep it simple confuse you into thinking you should be like them. We are woman, we usually have abuse in our pasts and we are more often than not in need of much more emotional 12 step work with other woman. Much more venting of feelings, we need to talk about our stuff. My writing is geared for you!
I am sharing what works/worked for me. If you are blessed enough to know a grounded and balanced man like the one I have described treat him well and allow him to live his life without any demands from you. He will Love you all the more for it!
Alcoholism in itself is traumatic to our hearts and minds. My suggestions in these articles are for those in recovery who have had deep emotional trauma in their past and are in need of an emotional healing. Typically emotional neglect and abuse are the “why” behind our drinking and drugging. So then, why would somebody who has no abuse or neglect of any kind in their past need desperately to numb their feelings away even unto the gates of insanity and hell? Hell if I know. But some people like to label addiction a disease of which has no dysfunction to be ashamed of. I don’t know, it just sounds like denial to me. Like Ya, I am perfect and had a perfect childhood. I just have this gene in my brain that made me drink and drug. Sorry that is total bullshit for people who want to save both their false pride and their ass. Well that’s a comfortable notion.
The allergy that Bill W. described in the Big Book shows how we addicts were effected differently by drugs and alcohol than normies. But to me that effect is an addict finally feeling relief of anxiety and stress. Anxiety and stress that normal people don’t feel so they don’t get the same euphoria because they have a different starting point. Addiction is not an allergy in the proper sense of the term. But we should know alcoholics and cult members alike enjoy re-writing the English Language, that’s just another example of it.
What I am proposing is addiction isn’t some mystical gene or brain cell. It’s just that we felt like shit most of our lives and when we got the drug it gave as a relief that normies just don’t feel. It’s not fucking rocket science. Moreover it’s a theory that means there IS a cure. Some addicts would like to think that it’s a gene that way they are not responsible for their actions. And hey I am not some corporate bystander here. I come from a very long line of emotionally sick people who resorted to drugs and alcohol to fix the way they felt. However years of meditation, deep meditation has given me an advantage called self-awareness. Step Eleven is available to everyone and the benefits are priceless. I guess we cannot face ourselves until we are entirely ready. The good news is once we face ourselves it enables us also to see others in a truer light.
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