Security Tip

Security Tip from Recovery Farmhouse.  When you receive ads or any links in your e-mail it’s best if you don’t click on them.  Developers can add a link to your page and make it say anything for instance; “Free Money click here” but you don’t know what the real link address really is EXCEPT:  There is one thing that those hackers can’t change.

When you scroll over the link look below at the  bottom of your page in the left hand corner it will tell you the real link address.  Everyone see all those symbols at letters at the bottom of the page but we seldom pay attention to their exact phrases.  Now when someone sends you an email link you can just scroll over it and see where it will really take you.  Or you can read it and then look it up in the “Who is” and find out if the website is black listed for spam or malware.  Blessings to all Lori E.

Websites Do Collect your Failed Passwords as common practice

Websites Do Collect your Failed Passwords for security purposes and as common practice.

But just because someone owns a website doesn’t make them trustworthy.

There is a good reason to NOT make your passwords the same on all your accounts.  As a website owner I have learned that it’s common practice for security plug-ins to collect “wrong passwords”.  Have you ever forgotten your password and so you punch in all the passwords you have used since the dawn of man to try and guess the right one.  Well I have.  Until recently that is.   When I was filling out the options boxes for my websites security plugin I was shocked when it asked me if I wanted to collect failed passwords on all  my subscribers.  I was surprised at first because of the implications.

Obviously the failed passwords could be used for unsavory reasons that you could just imagine.  The reasons that security companies legitimately collect failed passwords  is so they know when to trigger the brute force attack safety features to protect our websites. If the failed passwords are one of your old passwords or the phrase is off by just a digit or two then the security feature knows that it’s you and not a bot meaning, a cyber-bot trying to attack your website.

But if one was to collect those passwords and attach them to your accounts it would be an easy way to rob a person of all their hard earned income.

Brute force attacks are when a hacker sends a bot to try to log in to the administrative end of the website.   The bot will try password after password until the system is exhausted of it’s resources and the hacker can easily enter.   Once the hacker can log in under the “admin” user name then the hacker can go deep into the database and hide files that leave an open door for them to enter any time by a simple log in or sneaky back-door.  Then they can collect all of your subscribers passwords and failed passwords for themselves.  Or they can put any other action into motion to exploit your website and it’s e-mails.

Cyber attacks really piss me off!  I was recently attacked by brute force.  The only thing that stopped the hits on my login was a pluging called “force field”.  Limit login attempts was no help.  I even blocked the IP address and still no help.  It was like the bot attached itself to my login and it wasn’t gonna stop till it found my password.

If you do start a WordPress free website make sure you don’t leave your user-name as the default “admin”.  that’s what they try first.  And second don’t make it “adm1n” that’s the second most common user name for WordPress sites.  Both of these are a security risk.

So change your passwords often and use hi security phrases not words from the dictionary.  Make each account a different phrase and keep them tucked away somewhere safe.

Two Rights Don’t Make A Wrong


FAULT FINDING IS THE COUNTERFEIT FOR SELF-ESTEEM AND A TRUE FEELING OF SELF-WORTH.  Fault finding will replace self-esteem for a while until  we can do the next right thing long enough to actually build some.

Why is it that we see on all recovery websites and AA, NA chat rooms people are always looking for someone or something to pin the label “BAD” or “WRONG” on? It just never fails, and why?

Anyone who has worked the steps thoroughly and honestly knows that their most common character defect or carnal survival skill has been “BLAME” in the past.  

BLAME comes in many forms such as: attack, accusation, criticism, gossip,resentment,self-pity, and hate, even righteous indignation. These all reek of blame. The state of “blame” is a state of denial. Even if our blame is in the form of righteous indignation it is still a state of denial. When we blame others we are denying the real core reason for our yucky feelings.

We in recovery must learn the hard hard lesson of not only taking responsibility for our own feelings by owning them but also finding healthy and harmless ways of processing those feelings such as;
hitting with a plastic bat, punching bag, punching a pillow, writing, the [fuck you] letter that we never send, screaming, crying, sharing with an empathic listener, moaning, groaning, and other guttural sounds all promote release of emotions from the gut and relief. If we want to heal we have to feel not blame.

All of these method of processing feelings are usually looked down upon by others and considered crazy or weak.  Therefore it is best we exercise them while we are alone in a private place.  Beating ourselves up is not a healthy way to deal with our feelings.  Our hearts are innocent and need to be listened to by us without judgement.

We take our feelings and we write them down; “I feel hate or resentment toward Betty.”  Behind every resentment is fear.  When we find our core fear and ask God to remove it we find peace.

“I am afraid of losing my partner because I feel like I am not good enough I feel like Betty is better than me so I hate her” Wow! Was that so damn hard? Its ok to admit being afraid and feeling [less than] when we have solutions for that state of being.

Remember feelings do not have to be logical.  The fourth step work is an ongoing tool that should not be thrown by the wayside after accomplishing it one time.  Doing the fourth step should be a way of life in addressing every one of the blame characteristics listed above.  Humans fear they are not good enough especially if they were relentlessly taught that in youth. 

We can feel yucky without blaming anyone for it. Feeling bad does not mean we are weak it means we are human.


FLAVORS OF BLAME: attack, accusation, criticism, gossip,resentment ,self-pity, and hate, even righteous indignation are all by-products of blame. Addiction is a disease of denial which travels through the psyche in many ways. Denial or the lack of knowing how to take responsibility for our own feelings and blaming others for our feelings is the number one cause of failed relationships among addicts. The refusal to own our own feelings walks hand in hand with resentment. But don’t be too hard on us, no-one taught us how to process deep dark feelings. Addicts have a huge capacity for emotional pain in turn when we heal we have a huge capacity for understanding and Love. Once we learn how to own and honor our feelings, process them in a healthy way there is no limit to what we can accomplish for Love.

Who knew crying is a healthy emotion, privately screaming is a potent way to release anger. (not at someone) Writing a “fuck you” letter that we never send is an awesome way to release intense feelings of hate. Confessing shortcomings in meetings in a general way is a awesome solution for that defect.

We have the tools, we CAN stay sober and find Love, fellowship, and a psychic change.