Even though I am crying please do not think I have given up hope. Feelings are a part of me and should be expressed. Crying is a healthy emotion. What hope do I hold inside? I hope for success in every way. I want to get ahead in life financially. I pray to accomplish goals that will provide a nest-egg for me and my partner’s retirement. I pray that we can afford a new house not because I am greedy or ungrateful but rather because the one we live in is old and decaying.
I work hard to get ahead and then I see myself fail. I see some dreams slip away beyond my reach.
I know what “time” shall make us become, if we live.
So I regroup my hopes and set my eyes on the eternal, the incorruptible and have faith these hopes WILL come to pass.
Even if I don’t accomplish Earthly or carnal success now, when I die I will be with my creator. That is a much more spiritual hope. Salvation is not an achievement. Eternal life is ours as children of an eternal creator. Our evolution from birth as a human-aging-death-then we step into our eternal bodies.
I will then understand the mysteries of our universe, I will then have a deeper and much higher purpose.
Then I will not feel pain, then I will no longer cry, then I will no longer feel the separation from God that has haunted me as long as I can remember.
Being separated from God is my problem
Dying (not suicide mind you) is my ultimate solution
I see now time is very short and so I better Love while I can and that includes loving myself. I have no right to condemn or spank myself it is non-productive. Self-punishment will not help me attain my goals.
What is your Hope? When the carnal dreams are crushed reach for the spiritual dreams called hope.